By Bea Loughnee
Washington Reporter
WASHINGTON -- President Bush issued an executive order yesterday officially changing his birthday from July 6 to the third Monday in February. Coincidentally, according to the Bush administration, the order places the president's birthday on the same day as the official celebration of George Washington's Birthday, better known as Presidents Day.
"As of this moment, President George W. Bush was hereby born on the third Monday in February, and not on the sixth of July, as had been the case prior to this executive order," declared the order, which, much like the president himself, was shortish and bluntly worded.
"President George W. Bush's birthday shall be duly celebrated on the third Monday in February from this moment forward," the order continued. "Any other official government birthday celebrations also taking place on this day shall continue as before, except that every federal department shall celebrate them with 33 percent more patriotism and 27 percent more pomp and circumstance than before."
Democrats immediately charged that the move was a cynical back-door maneuver allowing the president to land himself an official federal holiday even though his popularity is so low he might not get one even if the only people voting on it were his own immediate family members. The White House vehemently denied the charge.
"That's outrageous!" White House spokesman Ice-T. Snow said. "This cynical maneuver was totally through the front door, in broad daylight, and the Democrats know it. I mean, why should we hide? It's not like anybody's gonna do anything about it anyway."
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