By Harold Bethyname
Religion Reporter
DETROIT -- Faruk Yusuf, a local radical Muslim, said tonight that he didn't like the way that "Westerner" at the end of the bar was looking at him.
"Is that guy looking at me funny?" Yusuf asked a friend shortly after the pair entered the establishment "for research purposes."
"Yeah, as soon as we walked in, this well-dressed, popular, good-looking guy, the one with all the girls checking him out, I swear he started looking at me funny right away," Yusuf said. "I was like, back off, Jack, cause I'll take you outside and drop a fatwa on your you-know-what. And he'd better watch out, cause I'll do it, too."
Yusuf's friend, Jamal Aba, a moderate Muslim, tried to calm his increasingly agitated pal.
"I said, 'Nah, man, he's just lookin' at that girl over there behind us. Take it easy,'" Aba said. "But Faruk, he was all convinced that this guy was staring at him and that was an insult to the Prophet or the religion or something. Did I mention that Faruk is five-six?"
The incident might have ended there, except Yusuf soon began muttering that the "Westerner" was unfairly monopolizing all the "females" in the bar. He said there was an obvious "Zionist plot" to deprive him of beautiful, drunk women, and that the tall, athletic obviously successful man was so popular only because he had stolen all of Yusuf's jokes.
"Did you hear him tell that one about the rabbi, the giraffe, and the polar bear?" Yusuf asked. That was MY joke, man! That hot blonde should be tossing her head back in mock comedic exctasy on THIS bar stool and tenderly touching MY forearm as a subtle signal that my devastating wit has activated her breeding instinct! Oh, man, I hate that guy!
At this point, Aba suggested the pair call it a night. But Yusuf insisted on staying and "observing this Western blasphemy" so he could warn all his friends back home how they would be treated should they venture into hostile non-Islamic lands. And also because "that brunette over there just looked at me, I think."
By the time the pair left, at 2 a.m., Yusuf was convinced of the secret plot to deprive him of success with the bar's numerous women that evening.
"Obviously, the American and his Jew financiers were plotting against me from the start," Yusuf said. "There simply is no other explanation for a man of my exquisite morals to have been so handily defeated by rivals who plainly spend more time in the gym than the mosque. I would never come back to an American bar again, but, well, all the women in my village are married to the sheik or one of his four brothers, so, I guess I'll be back next Saturday night. Maybe I'll wear my 'Death to America' T-shirt. Chicks dig a guy in a tight T-shirt."
Most of the Western Muslim establishment is comprised of Islamist groups claiming to be moderates. True moderate Muslims reject Islamic supremacy and Sharia; embrace religious equality and democracy.
What is a moderate Muslim? According to a dictionary, a moderate is a person who is opposed to radical or extreme views or measures, especially in politics or religion. Yet, majority of the public seem to be struggling with the definition of a moderate Muslim. Perhaps we can make this task easier by defining a radical Muslim and then defining the moderate as an opposite of the radical.
Muslims Against Sharia compiled a list of issues that differentiate moderate Muslims from Islamic radicals. Hopefully you can help us grow this list.
http://muslimsagainstsharia.blogspot.com/ 2008/01/what-is-moderate-muslim.html
Poll: Who is a moderate Muslim?
http://muslimsagainstsharia.blogspot.com/ 2008/01/poll-who-is-moderate-muslim.html
Posted by: Muslims Against Sharia | January 05, 2008 at 05:45 PM