By Bea Loughnee
Washington Reporter
WASHINGTON -- A new nationwide poll has found a Democratic Party in complete disarray over its core principle: hatred of President Bush.
The Pollsters for Accuracy in Polling (PAP) poll, conducted over three days last week, found that 39 percent of Democrats believe President Bush is an evil genius who either manipulated or masterminded the 9/11 attacks to justify an invasion of Iraq for the purpose of grabbing that nation's oil reserves for his avaricious oil company backers.
Yet 43 percent of Democrats think that description of the president is not possible. They believe Bush is a complete idiot incapable of simple, menial tasks whose entire career has been orchestrated by his wealthy former CIA director father, the poll found.
"The Democratic Party is in the midst of a huge philosophical crisis," said PAP polling director Ervin Schwabs. "Forty percent of the party believes something that is a logical impossibility if another 40 percent of the party is correct. I mean, Forrest Gump cannot be the anti-Christ. He just couldn't pull off the job."
"Look, the important thing is, we hate Bush," said Democratic National Committee Chairman Howard Dean. "Does it really matter why we hate him?"
Of the remaining 18 percent of respondents, 12 percent thought the president was a ridiculous puppet of Vice President Dick Cheney, 5 percent thought he was a huge, drunken jackass, and 1 percent, also known as Joe Lieberman, thought he was "a good guy."
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