By Harold Bethynaim
Sin Reporter
DENVER -- Bruce Braunschweiger, the President of the National Association of Gay Male Escorts, abruptly resigned today after an evangelical Christian minister announced that the two had met regularly in a Denver motel room for prayer and Bible study.
At first, Braunschweiger denied the accusations, saying he only bought a large banana nut bread from the minister at a church bake sale last year, but never ate it. But after the association's directors ordered a search of Braunschweiger's office and found a King James Bible in his desk, he confessed to meeting and studying with the minister, Roy T. Newman of Colorado Springs.
"Not all of the accusations against me are true, but enough are true that I have been brutally and sadistically stripped of my office. And my clothes," Braunschweiger said in a prepared statement. "Through my virtuous and God-focused behavior, I have let down the entire gay male escort community. I took an oath to lead a life of debauchery, wickedness and reckless sexual abandon. Instead, I have secretly been clean, abstinent and prayerful. I deserve a spanking. A harsh, harsh spanking."
The board moved to force Braunschweiger's removal after the association's internal investigation concluded that he had repeatedly engaged in "sexually moral conduct."
"It was a great blow to us all," said board member Ed "Not Ted" Haggard. "We all loved Bruce. Literally. But the board felt that the stain of hypocrisy could not be washed out no matter how many times we might try, and as long as Bruce remained firmly in his seat, he could bring the entire organization to its knees. In the end, we had to release him."
Braunschweiger is the author of numerous books on being a gay male escort -- such as "Bruce Braunschweiger's Big Book of Backrubs" and "We're Here, We're Queer and Other Catchy Slogans." His personal assistant, Ken, said that Braunschweiger had already checked himself into a San Francisco bath house, where he hoped to make a full recovery.
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