Blair wins hostage release with rousing rendition of 'My Bonnie Lies Over The Ocean'

By Vladimir Chang
Authoritarianism Correspondent

LONDON -- Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinijad released 15 British sailors and marines just to stop British Prime Minister Tony Blair from calling him and singing the old Scottish folk song "My Bonnie Lies Over The Ocean," sources inside the British government say.

The 15 British service members were inspecting an Indian cargo vessel on March 23 when they were captured by Iranian sailors. Iran claimed that the Britons were inside Iranian waters. After a series of failed negotiations, Iran suddenly released the captives as "a gift" for the Easter holiday, but experts and government sources say it was no act of altruism.

Prime Minister Blair, torn between escalation and capitulation, devised "Operation Free Bonnie" for freeing the captives, according to government sources.

"The prime minister simply lifted the telly, rang President Ahmadinejad, and began singing "My Bonnie Lies Over The Ocean" really, really loudly," said a junior government official who happened to be passing by the prime minister's office while on the way to the loo.

Ahmadinejad, confused by the initial call, hung up the phone and said, "What the hell was that?"

Blair, realizing he was onto something, placed Ahmadinejad in his speed dial. For the next 27 hours he called Ahmadinejad every two minutes and sang, "My Bonnie lies over the ocean! My Bonnie lies over the sea! Oh, bring back! Bring back! Bring back my Bonnie to me, to me!"

After more than a day of this, Ahmadinejad relented, saying on the final phone call, "OK! OK! I'll bring back your Bonnie to you, to you! Just stop calling me!"

Aides say that when Ahmadinejad, who continues to hum the song involuntarily, asks for something, he now ends each request with "to me, to me." A well-placed source said that at prayers today Ahmadinejad was overheard asking very loudly for Allah to "please get that damn song out of my head, my head!"

Comments

[Bethie]

I'm going to have that song stuck in my head *all* day ;)

[Circe]

:)

Go to www.Missdoxie.com and post the lyrics to Copacabana and see how many swear words she sends your way.