By Hi Browe
Pomposity Reporter
OSLO -- Former U.S. Vice President Al Gore today won the Nobel Prize for Pudginess, the Swedish Nobel Committee announced this morning.
"Al Gore was once a handsome, strapping politician on a path to becoming one of the best-looking presidents in U.S. history," the Nobel Committee said in a prepared statement. "But his inspiring dedication to overcoming his 2000 electoral loss through the relentless consumption of Moon Pies, Twinkies, Oreos, Ho-Hos, Ding-Dongs, and Sonic Extra-Long Chili-Cheese Coneys has transformed him in a mere seven years into the Platonic model of pudge."
Reached for comment at the local Krispy-Kreme, Gore was speechless. Then he swallowed the last bite of his doughnut, washed it down with a pint of whole milk, and asked how many dozen doughnuts he could buy with the $1.5 million in prize money.
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