Phone company puts asterisk next to Bonds' name in phone book

By C. Schwetty Jacques
Sports Reporter

SAN FRANCISCO -- AT&T announced today that it was putting an asterisk beside major league home run king Barry Bonds' name in the local phone book.

"With the dramatic change in appearance he has undergone in the past 20 years, we frankly are not sure that the man who now claims to be Barry Bonds actually is Barry Bonds," AT&T spokesman Hung Up said this morning.

"Bonds appeared to be a normal 185 pound human being when he began playing baseball in San Francisco 15 years ago," Up said. "We'd like to know what happened to that person. Because the man now claiming to be Barry Bonds looks like a 285 pound Mr. T. action figure in a baseball uniform. Until he can successfully prove that he is, in fact, the same Barry Bonds who moved to San Francisco in 1993, we will continue to print phone books with an asterisk beside his name."

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